The 3rd of March – AKA. National Threesome Day – is the perfect excuse to explore your wildest fantasies and indulge in the thrill of a ménage à trois. But if it’s your first time in a threesome, you might be feeling a cocktail of excitement and nervous anticipation. Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered with everything you need to know about how to have a threesome for the first time – from setting the mood to ensuring everyone walks away with a satisfied smile (and maybe a few sore muscles).
Talking the Talk – Communication is Key
If you’re venturing into a threesome for the first time with a partner, honesty and communication should be your best friends. Sit down together and discuss your expectations, boundaries, and any hard no’s before things heat up. Are there specific acts that are off-limits? Are you okay with your partner being intimate with someone else in front of you? These conversations might feel a little clinical, but trust us – the smoother your communication now, the hotter the action later.
And let’s not forget the third person. Whether it’s a friend, a casual acquaintance, or a thrilling stranger, everyone needs to be on the same page. Consent isn’t just sexy; it’s absolutely non-negotiable.
Picking Your Perfect Third
Choosing the right person for your first time in a threesome is a make-or-break decision. Do you go with someone you know or a total stranger? Friends might feel safer but can complicate things emotionally, while strangers can be exhilarating but require more effort in vetting.
Apps and websites dedicated to open-minded connections can help you find the perfect match. Just be upfront about what you’re looking for and ensure they’re just as enthusiastic about enjoying a threesome as you are.
The Main Event – Taking It Slow
Now for the fun part. The first rule of how to have a threesome for the first time: take it slow. It can be tempting to dive in headfirst, but pacing yourself will ensure everyone is comfortable and in sync. Start with kissing, teasing, and a little exploration before things escalate.
Here’s where you need to be mindful of the dynamics. No one wants to feel like a third wheel in their own threesome. Try to keep the attention balanced – if you’re with a partner, don’t get so lost in the new person that they feel left out. Rotate positions, check in with each other, and keep the energy flowing between all three of you.
Positions and Play
Speaking of balance, certain positions work better for beginners. A classic “spit roast”, where one person is in the middle receiving pleasure from both ends, ensures everyone is involved. Another go-to is a triangle formation, where all bodies are intertwined and touching, heightening the sensory experience. Make sure there’s plenty of lube available – it doesn’t just prevent discomfort, it also massively enhances pleasure for all parties.
If you’re bringing sex toys into the mix, discuss beforehand what’s on the menu. A well-placed vibrator can turn things up a notch, but only if everyone’s comfortable with it. Remember, this is about enjoying a threesome, not rushing through an adult film script.
In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to get carried away, but protection should always be a priority. Using condoms and dental dams for different acts (and switching between partners) isn’t just smart; it keeps everyone safe. Keep a stash of wipes and fresh condoms within arm’s reach to ensure everything stays clean and fun.
Handling Emotions and Jealousy
Even the most confident of lovers can experience unexpected emotions during their first time in a threesome. If feelings of jealousy or insecurity arise, don’t ignore them. The best way to handle it? A simple check-in. Pausing to ask, “Are you okay?” or “Do you want to switch things up?” can make all the difference.
Afterwards, don’t just roll over and pretend nothing happened. Take a moment to cuddle, talk, and bask in the afterglow. If you’re in a relationship, reassuring your partner that you still adore them can help prevent any lingering insecurities.
Aftercare – The Often-Overlooked Final Step
Whether it was mind-blowingly amazing or slightly awkward (hey, it happens), aftercare is crucial. After enjoying a threesome, take some time to unwind together. Have a post-sex snack, take a shower, or just bask in the glow of what just happened. If anyone has any lingering thoughts or feelings, talk them out. If it was a one-time thing, part ways on good terms. If it’s something you want to explore again, start the conversation about what worked and what didn’t.
Celebrate National Threesome Day Now!
National Threesome Day is the perfect excuse to break free from the usual and dive into the deliciously adventurous. If you’re trying a threesome for the first time, preparation, communication, and a sense of humour will go a long way in making it an unforgettable experience. Whether it’s a one-off fling or the beginning of a new sexual chapter, the key to enjoying a threesome is ensuring everyone feels wanted, respected, and, most importantly, thoroughly satisfied. Now, go forth and get your three-way groove on – responsibly, of course!
Get more advice on spicing things up in the bedroom from our blog – read our articles on building intimacy beyond Valentine's Day and how to choose the ideal condom for you now!
