Knowing how to talk about sex toys with your partner might sound a bit scary, but trust us—it doesn’t have to be awkward. In fact, bringing up the idea of introducing sex toys for partners can be fun, flirty, and lead to a world of shared pleasure. If you’re unsure how to start the conversation without turning fifty shades of crimson, we’ve got you covered. So get comfy, and let’s dive in!
Why Talk About Sex Toys?
Before you go whispering “vibrator” into your partner’s ear like you’re revealing state secrets, let’s talk about why this chat is worth having. Sex toys to use with a partner can elevate your bedroom game, bring new sensations into play, and help you both explore pleasure in ways you might never have imagined. They’re not a sign that something’s missing—they’re a way to take what’s already good and make it bloody fantastic.
Still feeling hesitant? Consider this: research shows that couples who openly discuss their sexual desires—including the use of sex toys—report higher satisfaction in their relationships. Communication is the foundation of intimacy, and being able to openly discuss what turns you on can lead to deeper emotional and physical connections. So, if the goal is more orgasms, better intimacy, and a stronger bond, what’s stopping you?
The Best Ways to Bring It Up
Now, how do you actually start the conversation? You don’t want to blurt out, “Fancy shoving a dildo up me?” over Sunday brunch (well, unless that’s your vibe—no judgement). Instead, try these smoother approaches:
1. Pick the Right Moment
Timing is everything. Ideally, you want a relaxed, non-pressured moment—perhaps when you’re snuggled up after sex, having pillow talk, or even when casually discussing fantasies. Avoid bringing it up during an argument or when one of you is half-asleep.
2. Use a Little Teasing
Flirty humour is your friend. You might casually say, “I was reading this article about how couples who use sex toys together have the best orgasms… reckon we should test the theory?” This keeps it light-hearted and inviting rather than making your partner feel like they’re being put on the spot.
3. Drop a Pop Culture Reference
Maybe you’ve seen a steamy scene in a film or stumbled across an article about celebrity couples who swear by sex toys. Use it as a springboard for discussion: “Did you see that scene in that show? Bet that vibrating cock ring worked wonders...” This approach makes it feel more natural and less like a sudden proposition.
4. Ask Open-Ended Questions
Instead of making statements like, “I want to buy a massive strap-on,” ease into it by asking what your partner thinks about sex toys. Try:
- “Have you ever used a sex toy before?”
- “What’s your opinion on sex toys to use with a partner?”
- “Is there something new you’ve ever wanted to try in bed?”
These questions keep things exploratory rather than demanding. If your partner has reservations, it gives them space to express their concerns without feeling pressured.
Handling Concerns and Objections
Let’s say your partner looks at you like you’ve just suggested inviting their nan into the bedroom. Don’t panic. Resistance is often just about misconceptions. Here’s how to handle some common worries:
· “Are you saying I’m not enough?” Reassure them that this isn’t about replacing them—sex toys are like adding hot sauce to an already delicious meal. They enhance, not replace. Plus, a toy doesn’t cuddle you afterward, whisper sweet nothings, or cook you breakfast.
· “I don’t know, it seems a bit weird.” Acknowledge their hesitation but normalise it. You might say, “Yeah, it might feel a bit different at first, but so did our first time together, right? And that turned out pretty great.” Trying new things can be nerve-wracking, but it can also be exciting.
· “I wouldn’t even know where to start.” Perfect! That means you can explore together. Suggest browsing an online shop like Mega Pleasure together and picking something out as a team. This makes it a shared experience rather than one partner leading the way.
Choosing the Right Toy Together
Once your partner is on board, it’s time for the fun part—shopping! If you’re both new to the world of sex toys, a simple bullet vibrator or a vibrating cock ring can be a great introduction. They’re unintimidating but pack a serious pleasure punch.
Do you love teasing and foreplay? Try a feather tickler or a remote-controlled vibe for public play. Into deep penetration? A sleek dildo or prostate massager might be the way to go. Communication is key here—make sure whatever you choose excites both of you.
A great way to make this fun is by scrolling through an online store together. Pour a glass of wine, snuggle up, and laugh at some of the cheekier product descriptions. The excitement of picking something together makes the experience even hotter.
Making the First Experience Fun
Alright, you’ve got the toy—now what? You don’t just whip it out mid-thrust and hope for the best. You’ve got to set the mood. Dim the lights, put on some music, and make sure you’re both relaxed. Treat it like an adventure, not an exam. If it’s your first time using sex toys for partners, take it slow. Start with teasing and gradually incorporate the toy, checking in with each other about what feels good. Remember – sex is meant to be fun! If something feels awkward or doesn’t go to plan, laugh it off and try again. The goal is pleasure, not perfection.
Let the Fun Begin
Talking about sex toys with your partner doesn’t have to be nerve-wracking. In fact, once you get past that first chat, you might find it’s one of the most exciting conversations you’ve ever had. By approaching it with curiosity, humour, and a focus on shared pleasure, you’ll be well on your way to mind-blowing experiences together.
So, what are you waiting for? Start the conversation, explore new thrills, and enjoy the ride—literally. We’ve got plenty of extra tips and advice on sex toys to use with your partner. Read about the top sex toys to start your year right and how adult toys can improve your mental wellbeing now!
